Bleaksburg, VA: Area woman is reported to be on a look out for Onion Reporters. Locals reported that she is missing work that she is actually paid to do, as she is looking around for Onion reporters frantically. It is reported that today morning the area woman attempted to snort her nose boogers out on the snow as she walked to work, and her nose boogers froze, leaving her helplessly looking for Onion reporters.
An area man unable to comprehend her passion to get news of her frozen boogers out was heard saying,"She is so frantically running around searching for Onion reporters. I mean, man! It is just frozen booger! She is acting like like it is frozen brain or innards or intestines or so!"
Her colleagues at work on the other hand, totally echo the need for attention and media hype of her frozen boogers. One of her colleague was heard saying about her frozen boogers, "This is perhaps the most interesting scientific observation to have come out of our work group! Like ever ever!"
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